Is stress or excitement stopping me from controlling my AS?

Lately, I’ve had an enormous grin plastered across my face, thanks to lots of exciting life events happening over the last three months. This week, I’m holding my very first art exhibition, which I’ve been feverishly preparing for. In addition, I was recently offered an amazing part-time job, as well as commissions for three large paintings.

These things are all wonderful, which is why my smile has stretched from ear to ear and my eyes have been glittering with exhilaration. But on the downside, as the proverbial roller coaster of my health plunges, my body doesn’t seem to be able to tell the difference between excitement and stress.

Does my body see excitement as a negative experience?

Strangely, my ankylosing spondylitis (AS) symptoms have been getting worse every time I say yes to an opportunity. My ribs and shoulder blades are much more stiff and painful than usual, especially at night, and I’m struggling to sleep due to the increasing pain. I feel slightly terrified that I’m making my AS worse through my own choices, even though I see them as positive.

At first, I refused to believe that the thrill of opportunities could cause my body to feel worse. Excitement is a fantastic feeling that takes over my entire body. When I first gathered up my courage to approach a café and ask if I could exhibit my paintings, my hands were quivering nervously while holding my art. But when I got a positive response and an offer to exhibit, my body was filled with electric excitement.

I can vividly recall walking away from the café after receiving the good news about my exhibition and feeling my heart hammering with the thrill of achieving a lifelong dream. I felt like singing out loud (something I’d never normally do) or dancing in public. I was so happy and could barely believe this was happening to me. Becoming a proper artist has been a deeply held desire of mine for decades.

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Because I’ve been so happy and mentally challenged in a good way, it was confusing for my body to be collapsing. Nothing else in my life had changed aside from these wonderful opportunities, yet I could feel my AS creeping back into my life. I was still exercising, eating healthy, fresh food, and avoiding getting sick, yet my sacroiliac joints and thoracic spine were burning at an increased level that I couldn’t ignore.

Eventually, my wonderful sister, who also has an ankylosing spondylitis diagnosis, explained to me that her body can’t handle raised cortisol levels for a prolonged period. After hearing this, I realized that my excitement could be playing a role in my declining health.

In an article titled “What Happens When Your Immune System Gets Stressed Out?” the Cleveland Clinic explores the direct connection between cortisol, stress, and inflammation: “Stress occurs when life events surpass your abilities to cope. It causes your body to produce greater levels of the stress hormone cortisol.” It adds that, “If you don’t control high stress levels, chronic inflammation can accompany it and can contribute to the development and progression of many diseases of the immune system.”

Wondering how to handle my life choices

I’m left feeling dejected, and yet again let down by my body. My physical self is clearly signaling me frantically, telling me to slow down and stop adding to my substantial workload, but my brain didn’t make the connection between positive emotions and negative physical symptoms.

In my life before AS, I thrived on challenges. I loved being a problem-solver and tackled projects with relish. Sure, I felt stressed and was often running from one project to the next, but it never seemed to affect me physically. I could maintain that level of exertion, knowing that a break would come after I achieved my goal.

But now, my body can’t seem to handle prolonged adrenaline, excitement, or stress. It seems like I need to somehow change my personality, which feels wrong. It’s frustrating to think that I can’t control my life to the level I want or let myself get too excited about projects or opportunities. My body might flood my system with cortisol and overload my joints with increased inflammation.

Unfortunately, I don’t have a solution to share. All I know is that chronic diseases like AS seem to have an effect far outside the body parts they attack. It’s a delicate balancing act, and the best I can do is pay attention to my body’s signals and try to learn from each mistake I make.

If you can relate, I’d be grateful to hear it in the comments below.

Note: Ankylosing Spondylitis News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Ankylosing Spondylitis News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to ankylosing spondylitis.