Reflecting on 2024 and setting intentions for the new year

One evening in December, I scrolled through photos on my phone, looking back at each moment in time. As I swiped through the pictures, however, I found myself grimacing at a number of them and the experiences I was going through at the time: my selfie at the cafe downstairs; my purple walking stick resting on painful knees, captioned, “made it outside today”; countless screenshots of “MyCharts” to share with yet another doctor for yet another opinion; two mismatched socks dangling on the edge of a hospital bed when I went there for an infection; my Achilles tendon, ankle, and hands, red and swollen.

For weeks at a time last year I felt as if I were at war with my body: aches in my abdomen; inability to sleep from the throbbing in my hands, feet, and spine; random rashes; and fevers. In many moments I wondered if I’d ever feel like myself again.

Besides these issues from my ankylosing spondylitis (AS), the past year also did a number on my mental health. With each challenge I faced physically, I got stuck in a cycle of depression and self-blame, feeling that somehow I’d caused whatever I was enduring at the moment, that my sickness was my fault.

When my back hurt, when my foot flared up, when I got an infection — each was caused by me and the wrong decisions I’d made in taking care of myself. When you live with AS or other chronic illnesses and things go wrong, it can be easy to get caught in a cycle of self-blame.

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January 15, 2020 Columns by Lisa Marie Basile

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Moving forward

Based on my health challenges last year, there are a number of moments in 2024 I would’ve rather done without. Regardless, I still think I learned some things along the way. Managing forms of inflammatory arthritis, including AS, can be extremely difficult to navigate, and it often feels that there’s no set playbook for it. That can feel particularly frustrating as we attempt to turn a new page with the new year.

As someone living with a chronic illness, I don’t love to set resolutions for myself, because sometimes our illness just gets in the dang way. But I know I’ve already done some things in 2025 that make me feel good: I joined an arthritis volunteer community, filled with young women who also have inflammatory arthritis. I sought another opinion for my treatment plan and met my favorite doctor to date. I’m moving and exercising more. I’m writing again.

It’s my hope and intention that this year I can do more of those activities that make me feel good. That includes being more patient and kind to myself, as well as trusting that I’m doing the best that I can — no matter what battles (health and otherwise) are thrown my way.

Note: Ankylosing Spondylitis News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Ankylosing Spondylitis News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to ankylosing spondylitis.